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Perfectionism

I waited until I was perfect, and I got nothing done.

Prov 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. 16:2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. 21:2 I want to exhort you on the desire to have a pur motive before God, to want to do right by Him. I think that's wonderful, and a good desire to have, and that God is pleased by it. I remembered Hebrews 3:12 For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. I think discernment and purity is important, because we can be right intentioned but not 100% pure, etc. But we will get to more purity, etc., not as we search/focus internally (though sometimes necessary) but more as we meditate on God's Word. Because it is the Word of God that divides soul/spirit, judges our attitudes, not our limited understanding. I remember Abimelech and Abraham and Sarah, how God kept

Opposites

Jesus was and is firm, meek, gentle, bold, did not compromise on truth, was Prince of Peace, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, Lamb and Lion. He demonstrated strength on the cross, when he could but chose not to call on the Father to send angels, when he did not retaliate or defend himself against false accusations. He knew when to speak, when to be silent. He was not afraid to flip tables to defend the honor of the Father or offend people, not afraid to be fierce. And he was led to the cross as a silent Lamb. In our King, the seemingly opposites hold together perfectly. He is the Lion and the Lamb.

Victory

There are times, when God can, but does not, vindicate you. He can rescue, but does not. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he rescues -- Daniel in the lion's den, the 3 friends when they refused to worship the idol. But notice, they said "God is able to rescue us. But even if he does not , we will not bow down to your idol." Jesus says -- "Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels? But how then would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?" (Matthew 26:53-54) Jesus had a choice. He chose to submit himself to the Scriptures, rather than call on His Father to save himself at the cost of obedience. Hebrews 11 who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouth of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and route

unique

The closer we get to God, the more free and true to ourselves we become We become everything we can be We become fully ourselves As we identify with Christ The part of God that He's put in us , the real us, get revealed more and more The closer we walk with God, the more real and true versions of ourselves we become God has put treasures inside of you that nobody else in the world has The world's is waiting for those treasures to be released The closer to God we become We become united because we are aligned with God And, in a way, the more different we become from one another, because our uniqueness gets revealed Because now we are becoming the best version of ourselves God is big enough to have created all of us And to have made us all different And yet still be bigger than the sum of us all

God wants you to be free from trauma, so that you can be the person He designed you to be. God wants you to be healed of woundedness, so that you can be free to move forward. God wants you to be free from unforgiveness and bitterness, so that you can be lighter and soar as you were intended. God wants you to be free from people who've hurt you, words that have pierced you, so that you can move forward. He wants you to be free from the past, so that you can look to the future. And he wants to help you get free. He acknowledges your hurt, He knows your pain. He felt your pain. You were not alone, He was not distant. When you were hurting, He was hurting with you. He wants to help heal your heart, so that it'll be whole. Throw off everything that hinders, fix your eyes on Jesus. Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past; see, I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the

There is a love

There is love, a love so perfect, that it casts out all fear Someone who will never leave you, nor forsake you Someone who would rather give his life for you Than to lose you The one who mourns your pain The one who comforts you So you can comfort those in any trouble With the comfort you have received The one who works in all things for your good The one who is for you, not against you Who created you, formed you And who delights in you, rejoices and dances over you with singing Who is faithful, even when we are not Whose name is Faithful and True The one who was, is and is to come Whose mercies are new every day Who is patient, and kind Who sympathizes with your weaknesses Who know your words, before they are on your tongue His thoughts for you outnumber the grains of the sand He is the one who holds onto you He will bring beauty from your ashes Turn your mourning into dancing Rom 8 - For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor t

Don't look backward, move forward Forgetting the former things, straining toward what is ahead.. (Phillippians?) Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past (Isaiah) The goal of school is for learning things, to teach you, to put things in you, not getting perfect grades The goal of school is learning and who you become, not perfection Help me to stop beating myself up Show me your grace, your perspective, help me to receive it Give me faith that your grace is bigger than my mistakes, that you are sovereign, to surrender control, to strain toward what is ahead.. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the consequences because otherwise kid will think it's ok and continue doing it, but parents are there for comfort Sometimes you reach top of mountaintop and then go into a cave like Elijah God works in all things for my good

waves

I was at magic sand and was riding the waves, and at some point they got big and I was upside down in the waters It was kind of a wake up call spiritually because it reminded me that the smaller waves that come are training us for the big one that's coming (I keep hear a big wave of revival is coming), and that we don't decide when the waves come It felt like I was going, God I just wanna rest, I thought this trip was supposed to be resting and refreshing, and instead i was hit with more waves, and I was reminded that I should be thankful for these waves because without them I won't be ready for the big one I tapped out for the physical waves (they got too big and I drank some water and I was like, I'm out) but I'm not tapping out of the spiritual training We are soldiers in the Kingdom of God 2timothy: Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer

Honor vs idolatry

I was thinking about idolizing vs honoring others (esp. famous Christian figures/pastors/artists, or even YWAM/Bethel/Hillsong etc.) and was searching myself whether to see if I had elevated anyone on a pedestal.. And I was reading Matthew 23: "But you are not to be called `Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth `father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called `teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Christ. And in Corinthians, where Paul says: For when one says, "I follow Paul," and another, "I follow Apollos," are you not mere men? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe--as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who water

Following Jesus Christ as early as you can is the best thing you can do for yourself. I realized, if I had done the things God had asked me to do, my life would've been a lot better. That by the grace of God I am here, and I've gotten much more out of my life than what I deserve because of his mercy, grace, and favor. And the prayers of my parents and grandmother. Following Jesus Christ as early as you can is the best thing you can do for yourself. You'll get the most out of your life that way. I thought I had lived my life pretty well, but I see all the areas in my life that had fallen short. I was thinking more highly of myself than reality.

The longer you let it sit..

I was at dentist for teeth cleaning today, and and there was build up that required cleaning. The less I clean regularly and the more I build up, the harder it is to clean up. Same with food mess I make. If I clean it up right away, they come off easily. If I let it sit for a while, then stains are harder to remove. So with sin, and repentance. A slip is easier to fix than a habitual sin. Our hearts also get hardened. Lord, lead us to repentance daily and cleanse us from inside out. Bring us to a deeper place of repentance and bring conviction of sin. Make us into clean vessels for you. Enable us to walk in a higher level of holiness.

control

I don't have control I don't need to know

Judgment vs Mercy

I have been struggling with work for many months. I was praying in frustration re:work, and last night I asked God to show me any blockers that I had with work. I believe He brought me to a place of repentance, of the times that I have judged other people for not working/not being faithful/being lazy, etc. and I went through many of "forgive me for judging <someone> for <something>". This morning when I looked at work, I didn't feel as many distractions/negative feelings that I was feeling. Since last year, I've also said "it seems that my mind is battlefield." This morning as I was having an easier time with work (see previous paragraph), I realized, oh have I judged other people for their minds? Then I said, "Forgive me for judging others for being weak in their minds/not smart" etc., and I felt a lot more peace in my mind. I also remembered the time when I judged/didn't show compassion to my friend who was going through struggle

Prayers that changed my life/strategic prayers/big,bold prayers

Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.” Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. (1 Chronicles 4) I don't need Google, give me Jesus. (2017) There should be more to life than marriage, jobs, and comfort.. https://www.blogger.com/blog/posts/664047028201381259 Cut off all generational sins/iniquities/bad habits at my generation, and multiply generational blessings at mine so that I can pass everything forward exponentially. May I steward everything well, for Your Kingdom and Your glory. Give me the nations. Give me fire that will consume me, those around me, and the world. Holy Spirit, come like rushing wind, be the river of life flowing freely from me, and like fire. In 2020, I realized how much my grandma's intercession has helped me; that I d

New

New wine in new wineskin. Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past; see, I am doing a new thing. Do you not perceive it? Even now it springs up from the ground. I make way in the desert, streams in the wasteland. Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead.. Don't go back to your old ways! Don't go back to Egypt; don't lose focus. Enter the Promised Land. New season -- go forth my child, and fight. The marching orders have come down. Take over the land I have assigned to you. Israelites, at Desert of Kadesh, when they focused on the giants in the promised land, they lost hope. Joshua and Caleb, on the other hand, focused on God who was greater than the ones in the world. Peter started sinking when he took eyes off of Jesus and looked at the storm. God will pull you through this; He is faithful. Don't lose focus; persevere -- endure, but also know that HE will pull you through this. HE will make your paths straight. HE will carry you till th

Root Issues

As much as I tried to surrender control and let go, it was very hard and I kept coming back to it until God addressed (and is still doing so) the underlying issue of fear. So, if the anger is a symptom of fear/sadness, we can manage it but tackling it won't get rid of the root.. Someone told me -- for addictions, etc. trying to cut things out can be helpful, but filling that void with the better thing works better, which was the case for me. A couple of years ago, God delivered me from addiction I had since grade 5 when he led me to read His Word regularly; I wasn't even trying to cut out the addiction but when I filled that need for comfort with God, the need for addiction to soothe myself went away.

Big, Bold Prayers

I don't want it to be the case, that I have not because I ask not. Give me big, bold prayers for Your Kingdom! For you are able to do abundantly more than I could ever ask or imagine. Give me more than what I ask for, give me your best -- auto-correct my prayers when they are too little!

Don't Settle

Don't settle; I want heaven's best. I will not go back, I throw off everything that hinders and fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith. I will not be complacent, I want to maximize this life for His Kingdom, for His glory. To love Jesus and to prepare His way. To prepare the bride. Awake, Church!

Voice

Psalm 29 Ascribe to the LORD, O mighty ones, ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name; worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness. The voice of the LORD is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is majestic. The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars; the LORD breaks in pieces the cedars of Lebanon. He makes Lebanon skip like a calf, Sirion like a young wild ox. The voice of the LORD strikes with flashes of lightning. The voice of the LORD shakes the desert; the LORD shakes the Desert of Kadesh. The voice of the LORD twists the oaks and strips the forests bare. And in his temple all cry, "Glory!" The LORD sits enthroned over the flood; the LORD is enthroned as King forever. The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace. God highlighted to me a few months ago that "spiritual warfare is a battle

You're Not Alone

The number of times God has brought up "You're not alone" in the past few days.. through a coworker, a random YouTube video, through my church community.. Thank you for the comfort, thank you for the reminder, thank you that you are the God of Immanuel, the God with us.

May the LORD bless you and enlarge your territory as He did for Jabez (1 Chr 4) and keep you from falling. May He uphold you with His righteous right hand all the days of your life and bless you with His loving kindness for His mercies are new every day and His goodness endures forever. You are His beloved, with whom He is well pleased. (Isa 43) Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland. Even the wild animals honor him. Honor Him, you people of the earth, honor Him, bride of Christ for He is your LORD May He answer the desires of your heart as you seek Him, His face daily and pursue His Kingdom and righteousness first May the LORD breathe into the dry bones in your life and bless you in your coming and going. In the morning, in the evening, for a thousand g

Flowers

All my life I've been running to get somewhere not realizing I had already been bought the price has been paid and he has said it is finished My identity is safe with you now out in open and spacious place I am free to live dance love run I want you to have fun, He said. I want you to eat. I want you to live enjoy life I like it when you dance I like it when you laugh, smile Run, my child Go forth. Leave your worries behind. I've got so many great things planned for you. You don't need to achieve. I am already at the top of the mountain You don't need to climb it, I've already put you here. Come up higher, you are already seated in the heavenly realms. There is no need to strive, you are already here with me. Soar with me, fly with me. Let go, come into the deeper waters, and be held. Just be held. I'll let y

Inquire of the LORD

Do we take what God has asked us to do, and run with it without asking how? Without involving Him in the process? May we be like David who inquired of the LORD. 2 Samuel 2 In the course of time, David inquired of the Lord. “Shall I go up to one of the towns of Judah?” he asked. The Lord said, “Go up.” David asked, “Where shall I go?” “To Hebron,” the Lord answered. 1 Samuel 23 When David was told, “Look, the Philistines are fighting against Keilah and are looting the threshing floors,” he inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I go and attack these Philistines?” The Lord answered him, “Go, attack the Philistines and save Keilah.” But David’s men said to him, “Here in Judah we are afraid. How much more, then, if we go to Keilah against the Philistine forces!” Once again David inquired of the Lord, and the Lord answered him, “Go down to Keilah, for I am going to give the Philistines into your hand.” 2 Samuel 5 When David learned that Saul was plotting against him, he said to Abiathar the p

Confession: I have been avoiding non-Christian media and sources (which I think is a good thing to do, for reasons stated below) but I think a "holier-than-thou" attitude had crept into my heart. God has been speaking me through channels that I was not expecting, humbling me and showing me that I had boxed in how he could speak to me.. But also: I believe this was more of God redeeming these things, showing me that he CAN use non-Christian media, but NOT saying that we should go watch anything/everything. (1 Cor 10) "I have the right to do anything," you say--but not everything is beneficial. "I have the right to do anything"--but not everything is constructive. I would like to exhort my brothers and sisters to discern what media they take in. As what we eat affects our bodily health (e.g. from unhealthy to healthy (my opinion): poison, junk food, processed food, eating out, added sugar, eating healthy..) what we take into our mind will affect our sou

Deeper, Higher

Today, the LORD was asking me to surrender my perfectionism and regrets of the past, so that I could soar higher.. Here are some songs & phrases & verses that came to me during worship. "I lean not on my own understanding; my life is in the hands of the maker of heaven. I give it all to you, trusting that you'll make something beautiful out of me... There is nothing I hold onto.." "When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm. Father, you are king over the flood; I will be still and know you are God. Find rest my soul in Christ alone; know his power, in quietness and trust.." "Come with me, be with me, sit at my feet; fly higher, soar like an eagle; I have so many great things planned for you, I want you to experience all of it. Come to the deeper waters, where your faith will be tested; this is where you can be carried, not near the shore where you can stand on your own" (Earlier in the day, He had given me Jame

orphan vs son

Luke 15 "Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours..." "My son, you are always with me , and everything I have is yours. ..." Romans 8 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace...' For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs -- heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 2 Timothy 1 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Fire

God has recently been highlighting "fire" and "baptism of Holy Spirit" for me. The prayer that has been resonating is, Father, give me a fire that will consume me, those around me, and the nations! Give me the nations. 나를 태우고, 내 주위를 태우고, 열방을 태울 불을 내려주소서 If this resonates anyone, may we be praying big, bold prayers. https://youtu.be/MZaWyCt8HK0 Edit: Ha! This was in my reading today, God is so good "He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire." (Luke 3 16) A couple of months ago, Psalm 2 resonated in my spirit -- "Ask of me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession." My initial reaction was, 'I thought this was only for Jesus' but it kept resonating, so I prayed "Give me the nations!!!". Then one morning in January, I was reading Revelations and this stirred up something deep down in my belly -- "To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority ov

Last Days

What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. (1 Cor 7) Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like the others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. For those who sle

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